So 30 years ago, when I was finishing high school (30? Really?), the one “out” kid was mercilessly teased, even though he was 1) extraordinarily attractive, 2) a great dresser, 3) had a fantastic singing voice, and 4) was friends with all the pretty girls that I secretly had a crush on. Side note: when I bumped into that person ten years later, he confessed he had been dating our Biology teacher, who was probably the hottest guy for miles around. Well done, my friend!
Anyway, times have surely changed. Now, according to my 13-yr-old, it’s the homophobes who get teased. “Hot damn,” I thought, “now there’s some tables that needed serious turning!” Of course, now I’m also a parent, besides a lesbian with an intense revenge fantasy, and somewhere inside I felt empathy toward the homophobe, who is clearly being raised that way by his intolerant parents. And so I now understand the bully, even though I secretly cheered when his girlfriend broke up with him.
But now we’ve really turned the tide. In the car the other day (my favorite place to have conversations with my kids, because they can’t jump out of the car while it’s moving to avoid talking to me), Child #1 (in birth order, not order of preference) tells me that Child X, a kid I’ve known since he was 2 years old and I’m good friends with his mother, came out as gay awhile back.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me?!
#1: Cuz he doesn’t want parents to know, cuz you know…..
Me: But have you met me? I am, after all, ….gay. And I’ve known X forever!
#1: That’s the thing. The kids are all cool and he’s cool if they know. But the
parents think they’re cool and then they’ll be all, like, fawning over him and be like ‘oh, X, do you want some reeeee-sources?’
The sneer that accompanied “resources” was unmistakable. And justified, because I probably would have 1) fawned, and 2) provided resources.
Another day, as I was pulling up to #2’s school for drop off, we were behind a car with the HRC = bumper sticker.
Me: Oh, look, the parents in the car ahead of us are gay.
#2: How do you know that?
Me: Because of the = sticker.
#2: [Deep sigh] Mom. Just because they have that sticker doesn’t mean that
they’re gay. Lots of straight people use that sticker to show they’re with us.
Indeed, the mom who got out of that car is definitely straight, and of course #2 runs up to her to tell her our conversation. Humiliated twice in 5 minutes, by an 8 year old who clearly knows better.
I’m glad the times are a’changin’, but it does take getting used to!
